Code on the Road: Laid off? The one thing you absolutely need to do on the first day
This article really got me all pumped up. I don’t know how smart the advice is, but this guy really has a great attitude about life. Very inspiring.
Sometimes, in our efforts to avoid pain, we ignore the real problems in the relationship because we’re scared of opening a door that can’t be closed. We avoid confrontation to prevent ourselves from being hurt, or hurting the ones we love.
However, these problems won’t go away on their own. And the longer you wait to deal with them, the greater the risk of damaging the relationship when it finally comes up.
In my experience, most marital problems aren’t things that came along later on. They were problems that existed from the first month of dating, but were never truly confronted.
There’s a certain type of alpha-male energy that women are attracted to. It’s difficult to put into words, but it’s something that every man is born with. There’s a primal aggression that’s been coded in our genes for the past 100,000 years. Yet somehow, we’ve forgotten how to be men.
Part of what I want to do with this blog is show examples of the primal, animal aggression that makes women attracted. Whenever I come across an example of this energy in action, I’ll post up a video for inspiration.
Pay close attention to the words in this song. This is very well-done.
Father
Gonna take you daughter out tonight
Gonna show her my world
Oh father
Once upon a time, there was a poor man, with a poor man’s job, making a poor man’s salary. One day, while taking the bus home from work, he struck up a conversation with a rich man. At the end of the conversation, the rich man gave him $1000 as a gift.
The next week, the poor man saw the rich man again. They had another conversation and the rich man gave him another $1000. This went on week after week. After the 5th week, the poor man began to see a pattern. With his new-found fortune, he went out took on new dept. He bought a new house, a new car, new clothes, and he even quit his poor man’s job. And week after week, the rich man continued to give him $1000.
But on the eleventh week, the rich man and the poor man met on the same bus and had another great conversation. At the end of the conversation, the poor man asked for his $1000. The rich man said he wasn’t going to give him any money today. When the poor man asked why not, the rich man said that he’d simply decided not to ever give the poor man any more money. From now on, the poor man would have to settle for polite conversation without monetary gain.
The poor man replied “You can’t do this to me. I’ve quit my job and I have debts. I’ll have to declare bankruptcy. I need the money to live!” The rich man simply said “Too bad, that’s not my problem”
The poor cursed the rich man for ruining his life and vowed never to speak to him again.
There are 2 ways you can look at this story. For the sake of argument, we’ll call them “Loser Mentality” and “Winner Mentality”.
“Loser Mentality”
The rich man used his position and wealth to manipulate the poor man. He created an expectation by making the poor man reliant on the weekly paycheque. This rich man was basically playing manipulative power games in order to destroy the poor man’s life.
“Winner Mentality”
The rich man gave the poor man $10,000. And the poor man didn’t appreciate it like he should’ve. Getting something for free TODAY doesn’t entitle you to get something for free TOMORROW, so just appreciate it while you have it.
The same thing applies in your personal relationships. In my experience, women are incredibly generous.
Most bitter breakups happen because the woman in the relationship gave and gave and gave. At some point, for whatever reason, she just decided to stop giving. Maybe she just needed to go find herself. Maybe she was depressed. Maybe she felt unappreciated. It doesn’t matter. The reason isn’t important.
Too often, men get a sense of expectancy, and becomes dependant on their woman’s love in order to feel good about themselves. Instead of appreciating the gift he’s received, they get angry at her for removing the foundation on which he’s built his emotional well-being.
This is a Loser Mentality. I can’t tell you how to make her come back. But I can almost GUARANTEE that she won’t come back until you change your attitude.
She doesn’t feel like she owes you anything, and she doesn’t want to carry your emotional baggage. No woman does.
Also, this bitterness you’re holding in will affect all of your future interactions with women. Without saying a word, women seem to just know how your last relationship ended. They are very intuitive, and they can sense when a man is desperate and needy. It’s very unattractive.
Instead, you need to develop a winner mentality. When a girl breaks up with you, set her free. Thank her for the beautiful gift she’s freely given you, wish her all the best. Help her get what she needs to be happy, and understand that this may mean she needs to start a new life without you.
As much as this may hurt, you’ll also be letting go of a lot of emotional baggage that’s preventing quality women from getting to know you.
The world is full of generous people who are willing to give and give and give without expecting anything in the return. But they pick their recipients very carefully, and they want someone who won’t take them for granted. Are you a winner or a loser?
Speed dating events can be some of the Best places to meet women. Whether you live in New York, L.A., Montreal, San Diego, Boston or any other major city, there’s a speed dating company in your area.
Speed dating is half party, half musical chairs, and all cop. This convenient solution promises to slice, and dice, and even re-grow your thinning hair line.
Well, it might not be able to re-grow hair, or make home-made potato chips… but it is quickly gaining in popularity with older singles who want an alternative to dating sites. The 2 main questions are: Does it work, and will it work for you? You need to keep a few things in mind before you make your decision.
I guess the easiest way to explain speed dating would be to compare it to the old fashioned singles mixers of days gone by. An event management company would recruit a bunch of single people into one location. In the main hall, two areas are set up. The men take one circle, and the women take the other circle.
Each person is allotted a limited amount of time. Each sits down and starts conversing until their time runs out. After that, they switch to the next potential suitor. If there is a connection, you might trade contact information before the buzzer sounds.
The main idea of speed dating is simple. Once the first couple runs out of time, a bell goes off and everyone moves to his or her right. And the whole thing is repeated again until you run out of hot chicks to game.
Once you run out of girls, the event is concluded. Every guy has had the opportunity you meet several future prospects. Although they started small, I’ve recently seen some of these events get quite impressively large.
The only downfall to this approach to dating is the sheer amount of time you’ll have to spend with each girl. The entire concept is based on the idea that first impressions and gut instincts is all you need to generate a spark. But is can you really be expected to make a choice in whether or not to give out your phone number in just 5 minutes? I wouldn’t suggest speed dating to guys who are shy or not used to meeting new people in such a fast-paced environment.
I’ve heard mixed reviews as to the effectiveness of speed dating. It’s not every guy who’s suited to this type of matchmaking service. Although, it’s definitely something to experience.
Another drawback is that you’re only getting a superficial view of this person’s “best behaviour”. It’s all an act that they put on in hopes of catching Mr. or Mrs. Right. If you do find yourself connecting with a girl at one of these events, just keep in mind that this first impressions might not be a reflection of their true selves.
Speed dating might not be right for you. Maybe it goes against personality type. But don’t worry if you find yourself having doubts. It’s natural for everyone to feel a bit overwhelmed on their first try.
If you’re alone after divorce, I encourage you to give it a try. Who knows? You might meet your next wife. Worst case scenario: You meet lots of interesting girls who could become friends that introduce you to your next wife. Don’t worry about finding true love on your first night. Just take your time and have fun.